So tonight after softball, drive thru dinner, hurried bath & bed time routines, it came to me. And not just in any ordinary way… It came while I was singing the same song/prayer that I sing to my son every night of his life. All 5 years of it. Hail Mary. Even the name, Hail Mary, conjures up images for me of a last chance touch down. Throws into the end zone hoping for a pass that gets you somewhere. Is that the right terminology?? Maybe this is it for me.

As the prayer goes, Hail Mary, full of grace, the Looooord is with YOU, Blessed art thou among WOMEN, HONEY!! Did you put your deoderant on?!?, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. WAIT… is THAT how it goes?? Was I so distracted that I actually screamed that across the house mid-prayer/song??? YES!!! Maybe that means I’m going to Hell. With a capital H. Because I’m supposed to be focused and the perfect mom, right? Who knows, really. What I do know is this: I’m doing the best I can. I’m juggling the balls and I’m doing what I always thought was expected of me. But the big blue CONFUSED looking eyes laying in the bed in front of me are expecting something. Something BIG after THAT. Alas, all I can do is put one foot – word – in front of the other and continue. So I finished it. The song that is. And then I carried on as normal until I couldn’t toss or turn in bed anymore. Then I sat down to write MY Hail Mary. The big throw. My hopes at a touchdown in life. And here it is.

(more…)