My Very Own MAJOR AWARD Friday, Sep 23 2011 

Humor and Uncategorized , , , , , , , , missumerica 12:13 pm


Wednesday night I got the most unexpected and giddy-inducing honor that could have been bestowed up me. Another blogger nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award!!! I really felt like screaming from my little balcony and letting all the neighbors who see me constantly typing on my little iPhone know how super important I am now, but I’ve figured that may just draw attention to our little corner here and someone may use that as an opportunity to express their disdain for all of the chalk drawings that I’ve let my kids create on the sidewalks. Who knew that the expensive “rich and vibrant” colors would take weeks to wash away? I’m still considering it though because my building is now CHOCK-FULL of pilots living in corporate apartments, and I have a vision of them gathering together and singing, “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” in their snazzy uniforms like Maverick and Goose after they read MY Mother (and the) Goose Tales. I’m TOTALLY going to print it out, plaster it all over the walls and hang it next to the kids’ fridge art now that we are some crazy printing fools having installed our very own wireless printer after only four months without capabilities.

The super fabulous and Good Humored Paprika Furstenburg nominated me for this award, and anyone who follows my blog will get a kick out of what she has to say. Her husband even wrote a guest blog piece on her love of shoes which is worthy of a mention as well.

This award comes with a couple of rules and this is where I get a little nervous:

1. Publicly thank the blogger who bestowed the honor upon me by putting a link to her blog on mine

2. Share the award with 15 other bloggers whose writing I enjoy so much I am always left waiting for their next post

3. Divulge 7 random facts about myself

I’m good with the first and third, but I’m getting a little sweaty thinking about the second. My friends and readers by now know that my creativity is kind of a curse that goes hand-in-hand with my anxiety. I’m still really new to the blogging world, so OMG! What if I nominate some of these blogs that I’ve discovered who have probably all been nominated already and then I’m like that freshman kid who’s trying to hang out with the seniors? What if I nominate THEM and they’re all like, “Um. OK. I’ve already achieved popular recognition with the masses and received numerous literary awards through my agency and publishing company, but whatever little girl.” But see, I REALLY want this award and so I’m going to spread the love and link to some WordPress blogs that I have recently discovered, and then go back and add to the list later after I sort through the talented masses. See, I haven’t really read a lot of blogs because I’ve gotten worried that reading them will somehow influence what I have to say and then subconsciously I’ll adopt their style and tone as my own and become a PLAGIARIST!! I’m going to suck it up though (actually gulp it down – that little blue and green pill that’s supposed to be keeping these thoughts at bay) and tag them like I’m leaving a nice little gift on their doorstep and then run away before they answer, OK? Here it goes in no particular order:

Ramblings – ALWAYS witty and insightful! I literally laugh out loud. I also think she has the best illustrations and pictures with every post.

The Jackie Blog – This chick can churn out daily posts like nobody’s business and EVERY one is a winner!

The Good Greatsby – This guy is hysterical. He has a Dear Good Greatsby column as well for anyone seeking advice. He has a pretty high following who contribute their own words of wisdom as well.

WHATIMEANT2SAY – A gal after my own heart… She digs bulldogs and her Wonderbutt tales are fun to follow.

H. E. ELLIS – An edgy and entertaining biker chick. She calls it like she sees it and makes no bones about it. (She apparently does like to use the word “boner” a lot in her writing though) 😉

I’ve Become My Parents – This guy writes and tweets from Canada with humorous advice on parenting directed at keeping his kid from making some of the same mistakes he did (though probably will inevitably.)

IMONTHEBANDWAGON – I dig the guys here and their banter. They’ll make you laugh out loud on just about every topic imaginable. The blogger is on tour with a popular British band who wants to remain anonymous with lawyers that do their best to keep them from getting sued for saying anything too scandalous. When you read it, be sure and talk to yourself in a British accent because it makes everything even funnier.

Tinkerbelle – This is another blogger from across the pond that I’ve just discovered who’s smart, sassy & witty. I like to read her posts aloud with my best Bridget Jones accent.

THE IDIOT SPEAKETH – I’m new to this guy, but MAN!! I can’t believe what I’ve been missing! He posts lots of 70s & 80s flashbacks, and if you do NOT like the new Facebook format then you WILL like his post, Why The New Facebook Ticker Sucks.

The Brown Road Chronicles – Somehow I stumbled across this guy. Actually, I’m not sure how but I think he may have stuck out a foot or something and virtually tripped me. He likes to do that to unsuspecting gullible visitors like me. He’s like that kid that sits in the back of the class that pulls your hair and teases you, and you REALLY don’t want to laugh but totally can’t help it. Oh yeah – he’s a grown adult that still likes to make prank calls too. You gotta check him out! (Don’t tell him I sent you there though because well, I dunno, I think any attention from him might make me nervous.)

My 7 Randoms

  • My last two years of high school were spent at a public boarding school for the “gifted and talented.” I thought it was going to be like Fame which I believe was one of the greatest television series of all time. I don’t remember the Fame kids having work service duties like washing dishes in the cafeteria or vacuuming the halls of the high school building, but overall I appreciate the experience now more than I did back then.
  • I spent most of my childhood and teen years dancing (hence my love of Fame) however do not expect me to win any notoriety with my smooth moves on the dance floor anymore. Once a few cocktails take over at wedding receptions now, something takes over my body that I can’t control and Spirit Fingers take over.
  • One of my dream jobs would be to sit back and write the names for beauty products like nail polishes and lipsticks. My family has owned a cosmetics store for 50 years now which is fine, but I really think those chicks who dream up the funky sounding names have the cushest job of all.
  • I quote old TV shows and movies all the time. Not new ones – OLD ones. Wait – not OLD ones because that would make ME old which I most certainly am not. I mean AWESOME ones like from the 80’s and 90’s and if I ever throw out something random that you think doesn’t make any sense, then YOU are probably the lame one that doesn’t realize that I’m actually quoting awesomeness.
  • I love bulldogs. And bulldog slobber. And funny bulldog tails. And tales about their tails.
  • I know all the words to Ice, Ice Baby and if you ever say, STOP!, then if I don’t say it out loud you can at least assume that I’ve quietly said, “collaborate and listen” to myself even if we are talking about something very serious.
  • One of my favorite movies of all time is A Christmas Story (which I can quote, of course) and even sent out our own version, Our Christmas Story 2010, last year on the Christmas cards. I was sad to leave behind my real working leg lamp when I left the house this summer, but NOW I have my very own NEW MAJOR AWARD… The Versatile Blogger Award! 🙂

Our Christmas Story 2010

 

My Hail Mary Thursday, Jun 16 2011 

Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , missumerica 2:45 pm


So tonight after softball, drive thru dinner, hurried bath & bed time routines, it came to me. And not just in any ordinary way… It came while I was singing the same song/prayer that I sing to my son every night of his life. All 5 years of it. Hail Mary. Even the name, Hail Mary, conjures up images for me of a last chance touch down. Throws into the end zone hoping for a pass that gets you somewhere. Is that the right terminology?? Maybe this is it for me.

As the prayer goes, Hail Mary, full of grace, the Looooord is with YOU, Blessed art thou among WOMEN, HONEY!! Did you put your deoderant on?!?, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. WAIT… is THAT how it goes?? Was I so distracted that I actually screamed that across the house mid-prayer/song??? YES!!! Maybe that means I’m going to Hell. With a capital H. Because I’m supposed to be focused and the perfect mom, right? Who knows, really. What I do know is this: I’m doing the best I can. I’m juggling the balls and I’m doing what I always thought was expected of me. But the big blue CONFUSED looking eyes laying in the bed in front of me are expecting something. Something BIG after THAT. Alas, all I can do is put one foot – word – in front of the other and continue. So I finished it. The song that is. And then I carried on as normal until I couldn’t toss or turn in bed anymore. Then I sat down to write MY Hail Mary. The big throw. My hopes at a touchdown in life. And here it is.

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