I’m Officially TRASHY Tuesday, Aug 30 2011 

Humor and Our Town and Uncategorized , , , , , , , , missumerica 9:38 am


SCRAM!

I’m trashy and it’s OFFICIAL so you can add that to my list of character flaws. Actually it’s the fault of my self-diagnosed A.D.D. that will force you to add it to the laundry list so I’ll carry on and air my dirty laundry via my blog and maybe someone will relate. Guess what I did yesterday! I took my trash to work with me. Yep!! NO, it wasn’t like one of those “Bring your daughter to work” days designed to raise any kind of awareness or educate the nation’s youth. I simply brought my trash with me on accident, but I did educate myself a little and manage to bring about a higher level of self-awareness. Let’s hope it sticks and congeals.

This is how I handle the unglamorous chore of taking out the trash which makes a LOT of sense I think: I bag my trash at night and then put it outside my front door in my direct line of sight where I can’t simply get distracted and walk around it. Then when I leave the next morning, I carry my bag of refuse to my car and place it on the hood since my SUV does not have a trash platform/trunk. See, no matter how junky the inside of my car is, I refuse to carry refuse INSIDE my car whether it’s bagged or not. What if garbage juice leaks out onto the floor or seats of my car?!? That would stink LITERALLY! I then drive VERY SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY to the dumpster since my view through the windshield is somewhat obstructed depending on how much trash I’m towing and toss it gingerly into the receptacle on my way out of the complex. Sure I get looks when I sometimes hang my head out of the window to see where I’m going but I manage to navigate my way safely around the obstacles and reach my destination which is not far away.

I decided yesterday, after some yahoo threw me a dirty look like he was hurling a rotten tomato at me the day before, to double bag my trash and carry it in the backseat down to the dumpster on my way to work. Well, Hell! I got distracted and forgot to dump my baggage before starting the new day. CRAP! I didn’t realize til I was half-way into work so I trucked along and pulled out the trash when I exited the car and disposed of it outside the mall where the security guards were probably watching me on camera and shaking their collective heads. Whatever.

My mind started going on some analogies though that I HAVE decided to try and carry along with me now. I should’ve stuck with my guns no matter how quirky I sling them. If I’d ignored the guy’s stupid look, then I’d have carried on with what works for me and slung my baggage into the proper bin without carting all the way across town. I’m doing that from now on so that I don’t get discombobulated and one day TOTALLY forget the bag in the hot steamy car while putrid gases and who knows what accumulate before I have to sit in the carpool line. I’ll embarrass the hell out of myself if the duty teacher opens the door to THAT so driving a little eccentrically through the complex is nothing. It’s a simple theory so why make things more difficult and complex for myself?

I’m going to take my time, in my own way, and leave all of the trash and baggage behind in other ways too. I think it’ll start my day off right and help to keep from cluttering up my mind and schedule. What if I actually took all of the mistakes made from the previous day, threw them into the trash and started with a fresh new silver lining for the new day?! THAT’S what I’m going to do!! Wallowing in my collected trash will just make me grouchy like Oscar anyway. I may carry it around for a minute for the world (wide web) to see while pondering things on the blog, but then I’ll toss it out for someone else to carry away and start fresh. If anyone gives me dirty looks again I’ll just tell them to SCRAM! God probably doesn’t want me weighed down and towing everything along as it accumulates like a big ole burden anyway. I’ll just hand things over, recycle what can be made better, and toss the rest. It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, and I’m feeeeeeling good!

(Just so you know, my brain was tossing around yesterday’s post combined with this one and hummed the TRASHY lyrics from She’s Crafty by The Beastie Boys the whole time I was writing this. I almost started with, “Now here’s a little story I’ve got to tell…” but I’ve just thrown in a little Nina Simone into the mix and the soundtrack for today seems a little garbled like it’s all mixing up and being crunched together in the back of my big truck compactor. I should make a disc… a COMPACT disc!! BING! Nevermind… I’m going to work :-/ )

 

Learning to Fly Tuesday, Jun 21 2011 

Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , missumerica 10:53 am


“Well I started out down a dirty road
Started out all alone

And the sun went down as I crossed the hill
And the town lit up, the world got still

I’m learning to fly, but I aint got wings
Coming down is the hardest thing

Well the good old days may not return
And the rocks might melt, and the sea may burn

I’m learning to fly, but I aint got wings
Coming down is the hardest thing

Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I’ve started out for God knows where
I guess I’ll know when I get there

I’m learning to fly, around the clouds
But what goes up must come down

I’m learning to fly, but I ain’t got wings
Coming down is the hardest thing”

-Tom Petty

This is the song that came to mind yesterday over coffee on the balcony. I started to blog about it, but something else entirely came out. Now I see why. I have a lot more to say about it today while the PETTY things are trying to get in the way. I still have MY crown though. The clouds are around indeed today, and I’m doing my best to fly around them. A friend told me yesterday that it seems like this stuff is just pouring out of me. Well, when it rains it pours. Some of you probably checked the forecast and saw this coming, right? Well not me. I didn’t see it coming til it actually was right up on me. Story of my life. As God would have it, it’s actually raining outside this morning, and if I’m going to drink my coffee on the balcony like every other morning so far, then Imma be gettin’ WET (said in my best Will.I.Am voice) And Imma be puttin’ it on the blog. ‘Cause rockin’ like this is my job! (It’s a non-paying gig so far, but it’s still a job.) And Imma be takin’ them pics. And lookin’ all FLY. Imma be the FLYest chick, so FLY. Imma be spreadin’ my wangs. Imma be doin’ my thang. Get it, get it!!?? OK. No worries though. If Imma be gettin’ wet, I ain’t gonna melt. I’m not the witch in this fairy tale.

I haven’t seen my bunnies yet this morning. They probably take cover when it rains. NOT my birds though. I watched one on the fence in the rain like he was trying to make a decision about where to go. Stupid birds. The dark clouds come in, the wind blows, the sweet bunny friends hide, and the mockingbirds sit out just looking for someone to pick on. Do they not get that THEY are the ones getting WET? Yep. Alot like life and the people in it, don’t you think? Take note Bird People. Get out of the rain!!! Or get an umbrella, at least. But don’t ask to come onto my balcony. I can’t shelter you from life’s storms. You’re going to have to do that yourself, and I have no room for you here in my castle anyway especially when the THUNDER ROLLS. (Thanks, Garth.)

GUESS who I saw yesterday that got me going on the song??? The baby bird, Tweety!! And guess what he was doing. Yep! Learning to fly. How do you like that?! I was sitting on the balcony and he flew right up and landed on the gutter. And I took a pic, of course!!

When I first discovered him, I was, yes, sitting on the balcony again, and I watched a neighbor walk past and point out to his wife the little bird in the bush. They stopped a minute, checked out the bird, then went on their way. As they walked away I heard the guy say matter of factly, “It’ll probably be dead tomorrow. It’s sitting on the ground where anything can get it. It can’t even fly yet, and it’s probably hungry.” The guy was just making an observation and stating it matter-of-factly. Well, I jumped up, ran downstairs (with my phone of course) and sought out the baby bird. I’m a super steady photographer, so it’s your own fault if you choose to watch the clip and get dizzy as a result, OK? Oh, yeah. You’ll also have to LEAN SIDEWAYS because I don’t know how to turn the video either. I’m WINGING it here ya’ll! (more…)