So tonight after softball, drive thru dinner, hurried bath & bed time routines, it came to me. And not just in any ordinary way… It came while I was singing the same song/prayer that I sing to my son every night of his life. All 5 years of it. Hail Mary. Even the name, Hail Mary, conjures up images for me of a last chance touch down. Throws into the end zone hoping for a pass that gets you somewhere. Is that the right terminology?? Maybe this is it for me.

As the prayer goes, Hail Mary, full of grace, the Looooord is with YOU, Blessed art thou among WOMEN, HONEY!! Did you put your deoderant on?!?, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. WAIT… is THAT how it goes?? Was I so distracted that I actually screamed that across the house mid-prayer/song??? YES!!! Maybe that means I’m going to Hell. With a capital H. Because I’m supposed to be focused and the perfect mom, right? Who knows, really. What I do know is this: I’m doing the best I can. I’m juggling the balls and I’m doing what I always thought was expected of me. But the big blue CONFUSED looking eyes laying in the bed in front of me are expecting something. Something BIG after THAT. Alas, all I can do is put one foot – word – in front of the other and continue. So I finished it. The song that is. And then I carried on as normal until I couldn’t toss or turn in bed anymore. Then I sat down to write MY Hail Mary. The big throw. My hopes at a touchdown in life. And here it is.

I facebook a bit. Maybe a bit much. But a few people seem to relate and I think it has dawned on me why. Maybe it’s because the “news” I’m being “fed” isn’t really news at all. I think for many people it’s a front. Who really has time to have squeezed the juice, made a gourmet breakfast AND brushed their hair and teeth prior to setting off for the day?? And if I give them the benefit of the doubt, were they REALLY able to do it WELL and then post about it on FACEBOOK to brag all before 7AM?? I don’t believe you actually milked that cow for the cereal milk this morning!! You are just making me feel bad now.

Every now & then I run into someone that seems to know what all I’ve been doing daily for the last 6 months or so. They’ve seen it on facebook, yet I forget these people exist on the friend list. They are quiet. They don’t “like” or post or comment. Why would they really?? Nobody around them is publicizing that THEIR life is just like any other. Ordinary I’m gonna guess. And who wants to read about ordinary.

Well, I do, dammit!!! I want to hear about how you screwed up your presentation, and how you, too sent your kid to school in baseball cleats because you couldn’t find the required uniform shoes. You embarrassed your kids or yourself or your spouse somehow today, didn’t you? I KNOW you did. Don’t LIE!! Put it out there so that people like me aren’t always trying to measure up to only the perfect to-do list that you want the world and friends to see. Don’t just whine though or you’ll be really annoying and get yourself blocked. Now tell me I’m weird. NOW tell me I’m crazy. Or BLOG about it… because you have had the time to research the best blog sites and put on all of your filters. The only blogs I’ve ever read were from famous people. Or people famous for being famous – like the Real Housewives. Scrub your words and scrub your to-do list for all the accomplishments. Those things are to be celebrated. Celebrate YOU! But please, don’t leave out the good stuff. I need it sometimes. It’ll keep me going. I love the ride that I’m on, but I would rather not do it alone.

So there it is. My Jerry McGuire moment. It’s my mission statement – memo to come. Fair warning. At 1:47 in the AM on a Friday morning – and it has NOT escaped me that is Friday the 13th (yeah, REALLY) when I have to get up and SHOWER, put on make-up and wear clothes that my 5 year old picked out for me so that I don’t embarrass him for the big project I have to help with in class tomorrow, I’m throwing it out there. In my mind, at this exact moment, I AM the Eminem of the white soccer mom, baseball cheering, Catholic school room mom, family business running, Junior Leaguing carpool line mom that plays on face book between life’s exciting moments. I may get a little sick after “publishing” my thoughts after having realized that I’m going to be judged for this. But maybe I’ll feel liberated too. And maybe I’ll blog. Until then, I’ll see you on face book. If half of you ever decide to admit you play on here too, then we’ll swap comments online. I’m looking forward to it. And to those of you who choose not to, I get that too!

Those are my revelations. May they lead to a personal revolution. It’s on!

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